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Cunt Wars
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Cunt Wars is an exciting action-packed CCG, or collectible card game with an adult twist. It combines elements of classic CCGs and tabletop games, being less a Magic: The Gathering or Hearthstone than a mash-up of several different game styles. You collect cards of sexy girls (and creatures), and pick 8 to make up your active deck. Fight against other real-world players, an AI solo campaign, upgrade your cards, unlock new cards, and increase in your rank. There’s a ton to do in Cunt Wars, and sexy animated and illustrated naked characters, too.

The game is from HooligApps, of Dublin, Ireland, who also is responsible for other popular adult browser games like Fap Titans, Smutstone, SlotBitches, Pussy Saga, Sex Gangsters, and Poker Sluts. They also have a related development arm that does mainstream/non-adult games in a similar style.

Cunt Wars Game Play, Mechanics, and Customization

Cunt Wars, which at first glance might seem like a simple card game, is actually fairly complex, with a lot of different features and game play methods that reveal themselves to you in time. So let’s start at the beginning, and give you a taste for what the game is all about, and how it works.

On the most basic level, the game consists of using a deck of 8 cards to battle opponents. Some of these opponents are computer-generated AIs (such as in the campaign “Journey” mode), though most of the fun comes from battling other players. There are many dozens of cards that you can discover. You are given a few basic cards to start, and can open “packs” like many similar games – though in Cunt Wars, it’s known as summoning bitches. Cards have an attack power and health, along with special abilities in many cases.

The basics of combat are simple. You have a 3x4 grid on which to play cards, and your opponent has the same. The grids are facing each other, with a line down the middle. The first column of the grid is for melee fighters, the second for melee or ranged, and the third for ranged. One of the two players is chosen at random to go first. They see only their cards, a hand of 4 randomly drawn from their deck of 8. They can play one card (and also use certain hero abilities that you gain and improve over time), and then it attacks. If it has no opposing bitches to attack, the attack goes through to your hero’s avatar, which has a set amount of life (that you can increase by leveling up). Then, the other player plays one of their cards. The cycle continues until one of the heroes dies. While you only have a deck of 8 cards, that’s really “card types”, as games can go on for quite some time.

You’ll always have 4 unique cards out of the 8 in your deck in your hand at any time – you can’t draw 2 of the same type at the same time. But in a given game, you might get the same card from your deck 3 or 4 times, easily. There’s quite a good deal of variety of cards available, and upgrades and leveling that give them special abilities, many of which can work together in a well-constructed deck to create a synergistic effect. That’s part of the appeal of these CCG-style games – building the best deck of cards and honing a strategy to defeat opponents and dominate in battle.

There are other game models (such as in the Dark Tower) where you draw from the full range of cards available, not just your chosen deck, and each turn the hand shuffles with new cards rather than drawing just 1. But otherwise, the mechanics are the same.

The battles against other players allow you to progress in the “League”, essentially a competitive leaderboard/level-style system that pits you against harder players as you progress. In several hours of game play for this review, we never once had an issue where there were no other players available to play, as the game’s user base is fairly extensive. It’s not a AAA title like Hearthstone, for example, but it’s definitely got a few hundred to a few thousand people on, minimum, at any given time.

Winning battles in League gives you chests that you open after a timer runs down. These contain various currencies of the game world, in addition to cards. The first time you get a card, you “discover” it and it is added to your library. Subsequent times, you gain a certain number of cards, or “souls”, that you use to level up that particular card. As cards level, they become more powerful, gaining additional special abilities, health, and attack power.

Without getting into too much detail, there’s actually a whole lot more going on here. You can evolve cards, soulbind them to other cards to advance, sacrifice them for dust which you can use to temporarily boost your cards, request cards from your friends, give your friends gifts, and a lot more. As you advance, you gain access to other game modes, including Brawl (which is mostly for fun with minimal currency rewards, and doesn’t have an impact on League standings), the aforementioned Dark Tower, your Journey single player campaign, the Divine Arena, where there are two new challenges every day, the Pit, which offers a different unique fighting style against bosses, and more. You can also join a guild with other players.

There are daily quests and overall quests that give you currencies in the game world. You can also buy various amounts of currency. Periodically, you are given free access to summon bitches (open card packs), and you can also buy them for both gold (the primary in-game currency) and gems (a much more limited in-game currency that you get as a reward for quests, or purchase). You can upgrade the number of slots you have for League rewards chests, bypass timers on opening them, and so on, like many freemium games around.

And, despite timers and limits on free play, there’s literally no limitation on how long you can actually play the game. Brawl is always available, even if you have no League chest slots open and have done all your quests, Dark Tower run for the day, challenges in the Divine Arena, and so on. There’s really a ton to do in this game!

Cunt Wars

Replay and Longevity

There’s a great deal of depth to the game, with various play styles and challenges, quests, and regular events. This keeps it feeling fresh and gives it a very high replay value over the long term. At the same time, the fact that you are leveling up your deck, collecting cards, and all of these activities give you a sense of progression, and make you want to stick with the game and keep advancing. Add to that the fact that you are playing against real people in most of the main game modes, and there’s an almost endless variety of experiences possible.

Both free and paid players also benefit from the fact that there is only so much you can do in one gaming session. Absent an unlimited budget of real-world funds to continuously buy currencies in the game, you’ll still run up against some restrictions. You can only hold a few chests from battles, and they have timers before you can open them that vary based on the quality of the chest. You can only conduct a certain number of single player campaign battles per day. These themes recur throughout. While there’s always something to do – and no restrictions on Brawl, for example – in practice you’ll find yourself playing for 15-30 minute sessions a few times a day, letting timers run and elapse in between. It’s a good technique to keep you invested in the game, giving it a much longer lifespan – just like a lot of good mobile and freemium-style games on the market today.

Adult Content

Cunt Wars definitely is for mature audiences only, with graphic illustrated nudity. Characters throughout are in various states of undress, and orgies are typically going on in the background images. You also unlock various portraits/illustrated animated/rendered scenes as you advance through the game. While it’s not photo-realistic, it’s all a consistent animated style that straddles the border between comic-style art and pornography. It’s less about getting off, though, than a fun combat trading card game that just so happens to be adult-themed.

Platform, Compatibility, and Technical Stuff

The game is run entirely in your browser, and does not require any special technology. It is a bit hefty in terms of system resource utilization, but nothing even a Chromebook or similar barebones system from the last decade can’t handle.

We ran into no issues in our testing on Chrome, IE/Edge, and Opera. It appears to run on the JavaScript WebGL API, which, again, should be no problem for any modern browser.

The site itself contains no malware, adware, viruses, spyware, or other red flags according to our testing.

Cunt Wars Cost

Cunt Wars is a freemium game, meaning it’s perfectly free to play. There are a variety of timers and other factors that will limit the amount of play you can get per day out of the game without making a purchase. But, on the other hand, we’ve yet to encounter any aspect of the game that you can’t enjoy and take full advantage of as a free player. In fact, this game probably strikes one of the best balances we’ve seen, on par with any top-tier mobile freemium game, as far as what you can do free vs. paid.

There are a variety of packages available to give you access to consumables and currencies, including gold, gems, event tokens, and so on within the game. These can also be used to “summon bitches”, which is the game’s term for opening card packs to gain new cards, upgrade points for current cards, gold, gems, and other rewards. In almost all cases, there are several options of packages to choose from, ranging from a few dollars to a lot of dollars, depending on how much you want to spend. There is also a VIP program, where you can buy different levels of VIP status, that offer a limited duration set of bonuses on everything in the game – more gold, more gems, etc. from your daily activities and quests.

Again, everything seems doable as a free player. It will just take longer to advance, as you are time and resource-limited on how many chests you can receive and open, how quickly you can advance and level up your cards, how often you can afford to summon bitches, etc.

The game is definitely worth trying free, and if you find yourself enjoying it and running up against things like timers or slow advancement of your cards, then you should consider grabbing one of the packages that give you a good mix of gems, money, and cards – maybe an extra chest slot. But they don’t force it on you, and for the most part, solicitations or ads to get you to buy things are relatively unobtrusive during transitional screens, and only occasionally each session, unlike some games that spam you every chance they get.


Play or Pass?

This one is no contest. Cunt Wars is one of the best adult games we’ve reviewed or played. It’s probably not for everyone, but if you enjoy CCGs and tabletop games, then you’ll be right at home here. So much to do, and a really good balance between free and paid progression, so that you don’t feel overly pressured or left behind if you don’t have money to sink into the game. Sign up, it’s free – just requires an email address – and give it a try. You might find you’re coming back to it, again and again. The adult content is a nice touch, but this isn’t really a game about fapping – there are porn sites for that. It’s just an adult-themed game, that’s first and foremost a game. That’s important, because many adult games are crap when it comes to game play and mechanics. This one isn’t – it shines in that area especially.

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